Why can't we have child free flights?

I see Ryanair are in trouble again. After removing a Jamaican band from one of their planes as suspected terrorists - and then refusing to let them back on when it emerged they were entirely innocent – they have reportedly thrown an Italian doctor off a flight from Alghero to London for talking.

According to the good doctor, "I was talking normally, and a steward asked me to be quiet, in a brusque manner," he said.

"After five minutes, when the announcements came to an end, another stewardess came up and said that I had been warned and I should have shut up. She asked if I wanted to get off the plane.”

Now whilst the interminably verbose are undoubtedly in the top ten of life’s irritants there are usually far worse offenders in the cattle class conditions of most budget flights. Namely children.

I recall a recent flight from Italy where a child next to me managed to turn himself upside down attempting to get at the lifejacket beneath his seat. While across the isle one selfless parent, who couldn’t be arsed to keep their child quietly entertained, simply plopped a disc into his DVD player and blasted the surrounding rows into submission with the latest offering from Disney. And yet despite this Animal House-style mayhem the airline staff did nothing.

The late comedian Bill Hicks used to tell a joke about kids on flights.

“I was on this one flight right, I'm flying, I'm sleeping on the plane, I'm "knackered". Very tired right and I feel this tapping on my head. And I look up and there's this little kid - loose! on the fucking plane, he's just loose. It's his playground in the sky. And he has decided that his job is to repetitively tap me on the top of the head.”

“I look across the aisle at his mom. She's just smiling, you know.
Guy next to the mom goes, ‘They're so cute when they're that small.’

“Isn't that amazing, letting your kid run loose on a plane. And then the kid runs over to the emergency exit and he starts flipping that handle to the door. And the guy next to the mom starts to get up, and I go, ‘Wait a minute... we're about to learn an important lesson right here.’

“Kwoooshh.

“Why you're right, the smaller he gets, the cuter he is.”

All of which leads neatly on to my big idea. We have men free hotels and men free beaches, so why doesn’t some bright spark with a stately home sized amount of cash start a child free airline.

No doubt there'll be some who think such a thing is ‘symptomatic of how selfish modern society has become’, but all I'm asking for is choice.

I put up with the badly behaved little buggers scratching my car, playing football against my house and letting rip with a volley of expletives when I have the temerity to ask them if they’d mind playing outside their own front door. Hell, I'd pay double to avoid that tap-tap-tapping on the back of my head.

It’s golf Jim, but not as we know it

The Royal Silver Golf Trophy arrives in Sardinia on the 8th and 9th of June with a new formula.

The third round and final of the Vice Versa Challenge, in aid of the Foundation Legato Dino Ferrar for muscular dystrophy, will be held on the magnificent course of the Pevero Golf Club in the Gallura region, but with a twist.

Organized by the Salvaterra brothers Giancarlo and Gianni, finalists will play on the regular course but in reverse, starting from the flag at hole no.18 and ending up at the starting tee.

Find accommodation

Sparks fly between Wales and Italy

A row has been brewing in the press between Wales’ rugby coach Warren Gatland and his Italian opposite number, ex-Springboks man, Nick Mallett.

Gatland has accused Italy of infringements at the breakdown during earlier Six Nations showdowns, and has threatened to have a word with the referee before Saturday’s match at Cardiff's Millennium Stadium. Italy have countered that they must have the Dragons rattled for Gatland to even resort to such tactics.

Wales, who are favourites to win the match in our house - though probably not with the bookies - haven’t beaten the Azzurri since their 38-8 demolition job of 2005, ensuring this encounter will be edge of the seat stuff.

One thing’s for certain, with Wales chasing a Grand Slam the mind games will continue right up to the starting whistle.

And then Wales will win. Handsomely… maybe

Read all a’bhart it here
...and here

Life - and death - is a lottery

Officials from the Italian town of Marano in Campania have taken the unusual step of running a lottery to secure a plot in the town's cemetery.

The emergency graveyard with space for 48 plots was created when the main cemetery became full.

But fearing that townsfolk would turn to bribery in order to secure their final resting place the decision was taken to hold a lottery.

Read the full story

April flights to Sardinia for under a ton

Easyjet seem to have dropped those mysterious 'taxes and charges' that push the cost of a flight into 'can't afford it this month' territory. Well it's not so much that they've dropped them more that they're included in the price.

Flights to Sardinia on the first weekend of their new Bristol to Olbia route are a defiantly non budget busting £99.98, if your willing to travel light and squeeze your clothes into your carry-on bag (trust me it is possible!).

Great... if you're not going out with a school teacher that is.

Could be interesting

Tonight's Horizon - 9pm on BBC Two unless you live in Wales in which case you'll have to wait an extra two and a half hours due to the bloody football - deals with cultures who show signs of extraordinary longevity.

One of the places Dr Brian Wilcox, the programme's presenter, visits is the tiny Sardinian mountain village of Ovodda. Despite having a population of just 1,700 residents it boasts five centenarians and as many men as women live to the age of 100.

Read about How To Live To 101 Without Trying

...and not forgetting Tempio's very own Rubber Man

Carrasciali Timpiesu 2008 - Tempio Carnival to you and me

Scary-in-parts promo video for this year's Tempio Carnival

You mean the Italians invented rugby?!

During the dark days of the 2007 Six Nations - well they were if you were Welsh - it looked as if the Italian team were well on their way to the holy grail for northern hemisphere rugby teams, namely beating England.

So it's disappointing that despite a valiant effort, and given England's near cabon copy of their capitulation at the Millennium Stadium the previous week, the Azzurri simply ran out of time.

Funnily enough a few weeks back whilst reading the usual extravagant claims in the Welsh press about our national team's chances in this year's competition I noticed something that took me by surprise.

Apparently "forms of football involving hands and feet..." - that'd be rugby then - "were played in Italy from Roman times to the medieval era".

Digging a bit deeper I found that according to some historians it was likely the Romans may have introduced the game, which they called Harpastum, to Britain nearly 2000 years ago.

The Romans themselves apparently borrowed much of the game from Greece where it was variously called Phaininda (meaning to pretend) or Episkyros.

Who knew?